Stupid Cupid
by melody taylor ann
Summary: It is Finn's least favorite holiday of the year: Valentines Day. To make it even worse, Magic Man made all the girls in Ooo in love with Finn, but even with all this love, he can't seem to find true love... YET. Not a oneshot. Will be five chapters. Happy Valentines Day.
1. Cupid

Chapter 1: Cupid  
I have another story called "The Plague." This is a Valentines Day special.

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Valentines Day: my least favorite day of the year. "Finn, what's wrong?" Jake asked. "Nothin dude," I groaned into the pillow. "Finn, don't be a party pooper just because you haven't had a valentine for the last four years." he replied. I chucked my pillow at Jake. Easy for him to say; he had the same valentine for six years straight: Lady Rainicorn. "Three more days till Valentines Day. Three more days," Jake said singing songingly. I looked down at my blue list sitting on the glossy countertop. "Tree Trunks. Too old. Susan. Too scared. Turtle Princess. Too quiet. LSP. Wait... why the lump is she on this list? Flame Princess. Maybe. Marceline. Maybe. Bubblegum. Maybe," I mumbled. My best friend skipped around the tree house. There is too much happiness in the air.

"I'm going out," I paused. "Okay," he laughed. I knew he wasn't listening, so I decided to mess with his head. "I'm going to rob an f-in bank," I smiled. He kept on smiling and mumbling. "I'll kiss your wife and stare at your children tonight in their sleep," I giggled like a stalker. Still Jake was unfazed; I cried,"I'm going to eat your everything burrito!" "No, anything but that!" he exclaimed. I shook my head lightly at the dog. He was still the same after being married all these years: burrito comes first. I yanked my jacket off the coat stand and bonded off. I gently put the denim jacket on my shoulders. As I jumped down from the tree house, I bumped into someone. "He he ho ha! Guess who you saw?" the man asked. "Magic Man! What do you want?" I growled.

"Some people know me as Cupid. There is a girl that loves you stupid. However, you are too busy chasing others. So, all she can do is blubber. Let's spice it up. I'll put a spell on all the girls to make them lovestruck with you and give you three days to find the love cup. When you fall in love with a girl, all the girls will no longer be lovestruck. Oh, and if you reject two of them, I'll give you a buck." he riddled nasally. "No, why would I agree to that?" I asked the insane maniac. He was as dangerous as Marceline, but he was crazy. However, the old adage says crazy people are the most dangerous. "What? All I heard was 'I agree!' Very well Finn!" exclaimed Magic Man. He thrust a green fist into the sky and laughed as lighting started streaking the the grey background. He pivoted on his yellow boot and threw a punch in my way. I tried to dodge it seeing it get closer to my face, but all I saw was black.

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- Not a one shot. There will be five chapters. Sorry for grammar errors. I'm rushing. Tomorrow I should have one up. Happy early Valentines Day.


	2. I'm Sorry

Chapter 2: I'm Sorry  
Wow I got so many followers. Thanks!

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I rolled my face quickly to the right to dodge Magic Man's fist, but it never hit me. Expecting to hear a soft thump, I opened my eyes. "What the hell? Where did he go?" I asked myself. I rubbed my eyes contently. Perhaps that was all a dream. One really messed up dream. I pushed myself off of the waving grass and chuckled. What would I do if all the girls in Ooo loved me? I would freak out for sure, or maybe date some of chicks. I shrugged off that thought and climbed up the rotten ladders of our tree house. "Jake where are you?" I asked. I looked around an saw no one there. Perhaps, he went off for earlier shopping. Looking at the pink calendar smoothed out on the table, I noticed the date. There was only four days left till that day, and I had slept for a lumping day. Wait, back it up... Why do I care?  
Worried for my friend, I hopped down the stairs to look for him instead I found a note:  
"Dear Finny Boy,  
By the way, I think I might of accidentally kidnapped your friend Jack. So until you find your valentine, I'll keep him for company.  
Love, Magic Mon."

"His name is Jake," I shouted to nobody in particular. All this jazz is so confusing (A/N if you don't get it send me a private message. I'll explain.) "Great it wasn't a dream after all," I sighed. Deciding to go look for Jake and the green "cupid," I opened the front door and walked out. Unfortunately, I walked into LSP. "Oh my god, Finn. I've been looking for you all day. Will you be my valentine?" she asked obnoxiously. "No and no, LSP! Look there's Brad!" I shouted. Even when she was under a spell, LSP had a short attention span. "Where?!" Lumpy Space Princess asked when I broke into a run. "No, Finnah," smiled LSP after she got her lumpy purple body to start moving. Suddenly, I couldn't breathe, so I looked upward at LSP's lumpy bottom. She SAT on me! I thrashed and clawed at her bottom.

"Oh, Finn. Will you be my valentine?" grunted Lumpy Princess. "No! Now get off of me!" I screamed. My shouts didn't get far and were muffled because of her puke purple fat. I desperately tried to rub my face, which she was grinding with her hip. Why was she so desperate? Is this how she acts towards the guy she loves? After extreme effort, I managed to thrust my arms outside of her butt area. With a sticky sensation, I felt myself being pulled from under LSP's buttocks. "Mah man!" she shouted. I stared at my savior's pink dress: Princess Bubblegum. She looked beautiful with her long slick hair twisted elegantly into a bun, but something was off. PB giggled quietly and leaned closer to my ear.

Bubblegum whispered, "Finally, I found you. Can you be mine this Valentines Day?" I thought I was over my old crush, but after looking at her sparkling eyes, I wasn't so sure. She pushed me towards the wall near a dumpster. "Now all your fan girls won't find you," she laughed melodically. My head hit the wall a little bit harder than I wanted it to. I realized that if I agreed to be her valentine I would probably get my heart broken. She was only acting like this because of Magic Man's spell. I took a deep breath and looked into her sea blue eyes. Grasping her shoulders lightly but firmly, I gently said, "No." Her bottom lip quivered as I cringed farther from her. "But...but... I calculated every step so perfectly. How could you turn me down?" she pleaded with a broken look on her face. I put my arms around her shoulders and hugged her. "Then tell me why you love me," I replied. "Well, you're Finn, and ..." she stuttered. "I'm sorry," I cooed. It hurt me to see my best friend hurt, but I knew it wouldn't work. As I walked away from the dark ally, I fell into a hole in the sewer and only saw black.

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Sorry it's not a Fubblegum pairing. Hate me all you want. BTW speaking of hate. This month is No Abuse month. I'm always up for a chat if you need me.


	3. Extingushed Love

Chapter 3: Extinguished Flames

I am very well aware that Fubblegum has been dead for a long time, but the next chapter may offend.

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I wriggled through some stiff coarsen material that was creating a heated bubble around my body. I squinted really hard in the darkness of the perimeter and tried to use the laser eyes I never had. I tried to focus on my area, which wasn't too much, and realized this was simply a bag. Patting my back pocket nervously, I groped for my sword. Who could have kidnapped me? Well, there is only one answer: crazy fan girls. I groaned quietly as my captor dropped me on the ground. I had to squint to keep my eyes from bulging out at the sudden ray of light that entered into the hole that opened in the bag. I stumbled to my battle stance with no weapons on me.

I was about to attack and tackle my captor when I was stopped by the familiar sight of Jake's girlfriend. Her beady black eyes looked down at her universal translator slyly. Glob it, Jake will kill me if I make a move with his girl. "Hey, Finn." she seductively dropping the motherly tone she usually had with me. I shook my head and put my arm on her leg. This is soooo messed up. "Lady, let's not do anything we would regret later," I said firmly. "I'd never regret any choice with you, Finn Babe," she laughed. Now I was officially freaked out. She came closer and closed her eyes. Turning my head, I knew I was trapped, so I tried to suck my lips into my mouth. Right when I was about to meet my doom, someone smacked the back of Rainicorn's head. I winced at the sound of the sickening "whoomp" when someone's fist smacked Lady's head.

"Finn, darling. Are you okay? Did that sickening ogre touch you?" the other girl asked sympathetically. Gosh, what happened to Flame Princess? "I think you may have knocked Lady Rainicorn out with that fist of yours," I mumbled. She looked at my worried expression and frowned thoughtfully. "Why care about her? Look at me! You never complemented on my dress. I also went to the Magic Kingdom and begged for a flame shield. Now we can be together," she said as she grabbed my jaw and made me face her. Since I had studied my crush for an eternity, I knew she lied about something. "You begged for the flame shield?" I inquired. "So what? I borrowed it, because they were so slow! I could never have waited!" she shouted. Surprised from her outburst I noticed a detail, the word "never" in the sentence.

"Ugh," FP sighed, "That wasn't according to the plan. You promised not to touch him and wait till he had chosen someone." Coincidently, LR woke up right that moment and yelled my name in glee. Another punch was thrown in her direction by Flame, but Lady Rainicorn dodged it. "You maybe young, but no one has taught you discipline yet," scowled Jake's girlfriend. The unicorn had struck a nerve, and understanding developed. Princess was too dangerous and had a deadly mood change every few hours, and I don't want this kind of drama when I'm dating. "Chose one!" they both shouted in unison at me. "None…" I said; love wasn't as easy as it seemed. The two girls had different attitudes when they had a crush. Maybe Cupid was incorrect. It seemed like I loved no one not even with all of Ooo at my fingertips. They both looked disappointed and advanced towards me with a gleaming stare in their eyes. The, they kissed each other with their lips crushing the other's. I kinda feel like barfing. "Marcie!" I giggled when I saw the vampire that forced them to kiss when she was invisible. "What? That was the only way to distract them. Quickly!" she urged. She stretched out her arms toward me, inviting me closer. Curiosity overcame logic, because I wanted to see how Marcie acted when she was lovestruck. I hopped into her arms and let her drag me away from the shocking scene.

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-I bet I disturbed some of you. Sorry not Flinn. That is too mainstream. Happy Valentines.


	4. Ineffective

Chapter 4: Ineffective  
I'm surprised there are so many Finnceline fans. Well I'll give you a hint on how this story ends up; you won't be disappointed.

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"Woah," I shrieked with a high pitched voice. "Marcy, you- you're holding my ARMS with only o-one hand-hand," I croaked. I cleared my throat abruptly because of my sudden squeaky voice. What if she drops me?! "So? Don't trust me or somethin?" the vampire asked with the other hand around her magenta parasol. "No, not like that I trust my life in your hands, but I would rather you hold me more securely," I meekly replied. "Perv," whispered the girl quietly. "So ask me." Marceline giggled. I stumbled for the right word in my mental vocabulary dictionary. "My dearest queen, can thou wrap her pale yet thin arms around thy waist, so I could feel better?" I laughed, meaning my words. Without I a word, I felt a fleeting sensation of flying up into the air. Panicking, I tried to grasp something in the air, but I only brought a flailing bird down with me. I shut my eyes and heard the rush of air near my ear. "Stop wriggling; I'm trying to catch you." giggled Marcie. Her arms were snuggling around my plump waist, so I felt the red color rise up to my face.

"So were are we going?" I asked fearfully. She batted an eyelash dipped with mascara. For the first time, I notice the color of her eyes: maroon red with flecks of dark brown surrounding her iris. I gulped nervously. Why was she so... um... gorgeous without even trying. "To my house, because I have a magic force field to keep people away," she stated as if it was obvious. As soon as we got closer to the ground, I was met with the horrifying sight of a million fan girls at Marceline's cave. "Damn it. Okay there's no way to avoid this. I'm dropping you through my chimney," she told me nonchalantly. Before the words of protest spilled through my closed lips, she dropped me into the chimney of her house. I knew what Alice from "Alice in the Wonderland" felt like when she fell down the rabbit hole. I took a breath of dust bunnies and instantly regretted it. I raked my hands up and down the side of the confounded closed space to slow the momentum.

Luckily, Marceline was at the bottom of the chimney and caught me. She had a mask of worry and started shaking her head. "What?" I asked. She gently cradled my hands and frowned for a long time. "Finn, I'm sorry. I shouldn't of dropped you down the chimney. Now your delicate hands are bloody," she replied. Seeing that she was worried made me reply, "It's okay. Really." She returned to normal and joked, "Don't make me drink the red from your pretty pink face." Thumping was made outside by a strange Fan girl. That reminded me. "Marcie, why are you not affected by the spell? You're acting normally," I asked expressing my thoughts. "Magic Man is my uncle. Besides, I'm a demon, so I'm immune to curses," Marceline told me honestly. I flipped out. What they were related? She took my hand and studied them at every angle as she washed them. "This might hurt," she informed me as she pulled out a needle.

I naturally pulled away, but she pushed me down onto her hard velvet couch. Placing her pale hands on my eyes, the queen started sowing my wound together, but I felt little. I was too focused on her soft hands on my eyelids. "Not so bad huh?" Marcie asked. I shook my head contently."Let's go to the strawberry fields since its dawn already." my favorite girl suggested. We were there in an instant, but I decided to wander off since I was busy with my thoughts after she sowed my wound together. Abruptly pushing the branches of a strawberry bush away, I noticed a hole. Inside was a beautiful cave. "Wow," I whispered in wonder. There was a sparkling lake in the center that had white dripping icicles on the top. Lights reflected all around: baby blue, white, and pretty pink all dancing. Just like the beauty of Marceline. "I love you Marceline!" I shouted into the echoing cave when I realize that how I admired her. I wan to ask her to be my valentine here, but a deep rumbling stopped me. Pelted with boulders, I was stuck as my vision blurred into black.

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There's one more chapter after this.


	5. Favorite Day

Chapter 5: Favorite Day  
So... Today a really smart reader noticed an error that no one else saw. AdventureTimeMan noticed that Jake sang, "three days until Valentines Day" when Finn later saw the calendar. The calendar said, "four days." Let's pretend he went backward one day when Magic Man or Cupid put a curse. Now back to the story. *drops a red velvet curtain*

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Marceline's POV/ Marceline's POV

"What the hay hay, Uncle? I thought you supported me?" I asked quietly, so Finn would not hear us. My uncle, Magic Man, shrugged innocently. "It was for you, Marcie." my uncle replied. "WHAT YOU DID THAT CURSE FOR ME!" I shouted unhappy that he fiddled with Finn's life just so he would notice me. "Then when would you have made a move? Ten years from now?" Magic Man shot back sympathetically. "I know you can do it," Cupid told me while gently patting my shoulders. I snapped my head back down to avoid the truth. His ivory green ears perked up, and he left. I muttered about the insane ways of my uncle. I noticed that he came back within five minutes. "I'm sorry," he shushed as my uncle lightly showed me the bundle in his arms. "Finn?" I cried at his blood soaked state along with gashes running up and down his broad body. Cupid outstretched his arms, and I instantly picked Finn up and took pebbles and rocks away from his cuts. "Where did you find him?" I shouted.

Before he could mutter anything, I flew away with Finn tucked in my arms to the nearest hospital. "Don't die" became my mantra as I sped away. The smell of metallic blood wafted itself into my nose. Nurse Poundcake immediately rushed towards me at the sight of Ooo's torn and bloody hero. She took him out of my arms and laid him on a white bed to roll him to the ER.  
I sighed a deep long sigh and lamented why I wasn't with Finn. "C'mon Finn. Stay with me; don't leave me lonely for Valentines Day. You don't even have to be my valentine," I silently cried with a hand over my mouth. I set myself down next to the baby blue bed Finn was in after the doctor checked him. I ruffled his gold blonde hair appreciatively. Before I set my face down onto my folded hands to rest quietly.

Finn POV/ Finn POV/ Finn POV

I used all my energy to open my eyes. Right eye first then left eye. Beams of light poured onto my vision. I rubbed my eyes, but a jarring sensation stopped me midway. I lifted my head with little ease and laughed to see Marceline at my side sleeping. When I was about to put my head down she scared me by shooting up her head quickly. "Finn," she laughed weary, "you're alive." She flashed me a quick smile. "You should go to sleep," I replied when I noticed how groggy she was. Marcie struggled to keep her eyes open, but in three minutes, she fell asleep. I groaned at my patient data paper when I noticed it was Valentines Day. I finally don't hate this day, but I'm stuck in a hospital. I needed I find out a way without making her mad and worried. A light bulb flashed through my head as I smiled.

Marceline POV/ Marceline POV

I awoke with an abrupt start when I noticed Finn was gone I shouldn't of taken my eyes off of him. Right in his pillow I noticed a note:  
"Today I want to tell you the things I love about you:  
1. Strawberries match your lips."  
What the heck was this? Well, strawberries. Obviously he was trying to tell me something about strawberries. Oh! He's at the strawberry fields. I wasn't so sure about what kind of antics he was up to, but I had to find Finn's trail. I flew at neck breaking speed to the closest field, yet he wasn't there. On the ground was tiny words formed by strawberries saying, "2. Your hair must be made of brown branches. Sometimes I want to move them from your eyes."

This time I noticed the pattern and went straight to finding the bush. I pushed back all the branches until I found a dark hole. I groped around blindly in the dark. I felt a piece of paper and squinted to read it. "3. Your heart goes beyond the length of this cave to love me. Will you be my valentines this year?" read Finn out loud with the paper. I was so absorbed I never noticed him in the dark until now. I hugged him tightly and agreed quickly; my tears were brimming at my eyelids. "The next time you do a disappearing act on me I swear I will smack your buns," I cursed. Finn's hand held mine as he lead me deeper into the cave. He flickered his flashlight on and showed me the cave. I was awestruck, and on the middle Finn had set up a picnic of all types of red fruits. The last word he said before I decided to kiss him was "maybe Valentines Day isn't so bad."

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The end. Wow 1,000 views. Thanks


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